Also? A big deal.

I’ve got to tell you guys, I’m exhausted. Moving, caring for an infant and being an internationally celebrated painter* is a lot for one girl to handle. Today alone, I rose with the sun**, cleaned the whole house***, enjoyed a healthful lunch****, played games with the baby designed to stimulate his brain while simultaneously teaching him French*****, ran a half marathon******, and then finished off the day with a hot, home cooked gourmet meal that I paired with an excellent wine*******.

I can see why you’re intimidated by me, I’m kind of an inspiration.

*lie. But when I was in fifth grade a work of “art” I submitted was featured in a sister-city exhibit at a children’s museum in Japan. It’s been all down hill from there. ** lie. It was the son. And he had been yelling for at least five minutes. ***lie. But I wrote the check to the housekeeper.
****lie. I had meatballs and fries with gravy at Ikea.
*****lie. We watched three episodes of Cupcake Wars. But Florian is French, so that part is true. Ish. ******lie. I walked to the mailbox. It’s a block away.
*******lie. I ate three Mega Stuf Oreos and washed it down with Diet Dr. Pepper.

This is me, writing a post

SOMEONE, who will remain nameless, is a bit bossy. As such, in order to secure ice cream, I’m complying and writing a post. And look! Several entire sentences that in no way contain a swear word. I know, right? I DO totally also deserve sprinkles. And whipped cream. Also a cookie.

We’re now slightly more than 24 hours from L&D Day. If I told you I wasn’t freaking out now, you’d know I was lying because you also already know that I spent several hours yesterday arranging coins. Not just by numerical value, but also so that when I wrapped them they were all facing the same direction. Yeah. Avoidance IS a beautiful thing! But sometimes, we just need to control what we can. Especially when faced with the Great Unknown.

A Baby.

A baby that we don’t just have to give birth to, but that we also have to then bring home from the hospital and care for EVEN WHEN IT REFUSES TO SLEEP. Forever. FOREVER, EVER.

Seriously, what good are you people if you don’t stop me from making silly decisions like that?

Truth be told though, I’m excited. I’m ready to meet the little guy who’s spent the last several months using my liver as a punching bag. A little guy who already likes to wake up at 2:30 in the morning, is excited by the sound of James Bond, car chases, and Flogging Molly. It’s funny to think how much we already know about someone we’ve never even met. It’s sort of like internet dating, really. He seems to be fairly reasonable about things like sleep and eating his vegetables (a trait he clearly gets from my side), and utterly unreasonable about things like chocolate ice cream (absolutely DOES NOT get that from my side!). He likes fiddle music and the sound of people singing. The sound of typing lulls him to sleep and he almost certainly will think that he’s part cat thanks to Polly’s insistance on helping me cook him.

But all of these things, these intangible traits just leaves more questions. Will he like to read? Will he be able to carry a tune? Will he want to wear a bow tie on his first day of Kindergarten?

I can’t wait to find out.