Every once in a while you find something out which just renders you speechless. Not long ago I found out that someone I care about quite a lot is being abused by her husband. Perhaps it’s for the best that I’m far outside the country and so my gut reaction (to drive somewhere and abuse him in return) is rendered moot. Instead, I present this open letter to the entire Internet as well as the couple in question; hoping against hope it will be read by someone who could use it.
A wise man once said that there was a special hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk during the theater.
There are other hells though. Worse ones. Ones that are for men who think it’s OK to hit their wives.
When their wives are holding their children.
When their wives are nursing.
I’d say something cool from a movie like “I’m not a violent man” but a) that would be a (stolen) cliche and b) it would be a lie. Also, let’s face it . . . it would be an empty gesture. A threat as subtle as that would probably be entirely lost on him; plus trying to in any way intimidate someone who is several thousand miles away, no matter how pitiful of a human being he might be, is just empty. I try not to engage in empty gestures.
Instead I’m going to point out that eventually his wife is going to realize that in no way is it acceptable to be hit under any circumstances for any reason. EVER.
And I’m going to tell her that every time. EVERY. TIME. he touches you, you call the police. You get out of that house and you never come back. Don’t you worry about money. Don’t worry about insurance. You get your kid and you leave. Find a parent or find a friend or find a shelter and you go.
Because this? This is only going to get worse. And eventually it won’t be you he’s hitting. Guys like him will NOT stop at just smacking you around once or twice.
And you know it.
Love and kisses,