As you probably know, Charming and I are moving to Europe for the next year as a part work/part adventure-type thing.

Packing has been insane, but we’re just about finished. Today, one of my chores has been to cancel all of our services. First on my list should probably have been last, DirecTV.

When I first contracted with DirecTV I has been told that I could cancel without cancellation fees if I had to move abroad (something that was on my mind, since I was moving to CO at the drop of a hat at time). This encouraged me. However since then I had experienced DirecTV’s “customer service” and was . . . underwhelmed. I had been underwhelmed with the service itself and tried to flat out cancel, and that’s when I found out the true enormity of their cancellation fees ($500 or so). I was again informed however that if I moved out of their service area, I would not be subject to the fees.

Um, not quite. Apparently what the fine print actually says is “in the continental US where you can’t get line-of-sight service.” Since I’m chosing to move out of their service area, I’m still subject to the early cancellation fee. I got a manager on the phone. Tricia (Trisha?), who I spoke with for some time, and to whom I pointed out that this was not a choice she HAD to make. That she could make this a positive experience for everyone. That I would be happy to consider a return to DirecTV in the future, but that such an experience as this one would not endear me in any way. She seemed to take great pleasure in pointing out that she could, but that was not DirecTV’s policy . . . and she followed company policy.

I’ve worked in customer service for the better part of a decade, 2/3rds of which was in call centers. I heard when her voice changed. When she shut down completely and when what little give-a-fuck she had departed forever. She purposely went in to “this guy will get NOTHING MORE from me at all ever” mode, and made sure that I knew it.

The feeling is mutual, DirecTV.